Changing the World One Smile at a Time: Johnathan Hornig
Content note: This post mentions intimate partner abuse, sexual assault, substance use, the loss of a child, and a suicide attempt. Support resources are listed at the end.
Every year on World Smile Day, Smile Train, the world's largest cleft-focused organization, invites communities everywhere to create a Smile Wall: a shared space where people answer one simple question, "What makes you smile?" This year, on Friday, October 2, we're building one here at the Hudson Valley LGBTQ+ Community Center.
I am Johnathan Hornig, Director of Well-Being Services at the Hudson Valley LGBTQ+ Community Center. I was born with a facial difference, a unilateral cleft lip and palate.
A cleft lip is an opening or split in the upper lip that happens when the tissue forming the lip doesn't fully join before birth. A cleft palate is a similar opening in the roof of the mouth. Globally, 1 in 700 babies is born with a cleft lip and/or palate, which can cause difficulties with eating, breathing, hearing, and speaking.
I can honestly share that growing up with a craniofacial difference shaped most of my life. I was othered all through childhood, adolescence, and much of my adulthood, through the stares, words, and behaviors of others, and through my own. From the day I was born in 1969 until the winter of 2026, I have had more than 15 cleft-related surgeries.
Later, I discovered I was gay. This only added to my shame and guilt. I hid my truth to protect myself and to avoid giving my family even more reason to see me as different.
Depression and anxiety followed me from a young age, and as a teenager I turned to drugs to cope. The years that followed brought more trauma and loss, including the death of my first child. A year later, my son was born with a bilateral cleft lip and palate, and the joy of fatherhood was overshadowed by self-blame.
When I eventually came out, I found myself in a ten-year abusive marriage where my cleft became a weapon used against me. My ex-husband called me ugly, told me no one would ever want a man with my scars, and even hurt me by flicking at them. I did find my way out, but old wounds kept following me, and ten years ago I attempted to end my life.
Surviving that moment changed something in me. I was finally able to look in the mirror and shatter the image of hate, replacing it with the gift of self-compassion. That became the foundation for embracing both my inner and outer beauty. I owed it to myself to face the cleft rage and fall in love with me. My scars were designed by the universe to remind me of my own uniqueness. My scars are not my identity, they are my testimony. Like each star in the sky, I burn bright and make a difference.
This is why I became so involved with Smile Train. Through my work with them, I found a community that turned my "I" into a "we." In 2025, I had the good fortune to moderate a panel at Smile Train's Virtual Cleft Conference, In Every Way, We Exist: Being LGBTQ+ and Cleft-Affected, centering LGBTQ+ people with clefts and their stories of self-discovery, acceptance, and community. Being cleft-affected and being LGBTQ+ can feel similar, because in both we are so often othered for who we are.
That's why I'm bringing World Smile Day to the Community Center this year. Everyone deserves to smile and be seen for who they are.
Throughout my recovery, I began walking to feel grounded as my feet kissed the earth with each step. One day I found myself on the path up Overlook Mountain in Woodstock, NY. It was a grueling climb, one I almost didn't finish, but I had been pushing myself physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally ever since I survived my suicide attempt. To my surprise, I reached the summit. As the sun began to set, I stood there offering gratitude for the support of the universe, letting go of some of the darkness to make room for more light. I snapped this photo without thinking. It was all about capturing the feeling in the moment.
Follow more of Johnathan's story here.
Join Us for World Smile Day
Friday, October 2, all day!
Hudson Valley LGBTQ+ Community Center, 300 Wall Street, Kingston, NY
Stop by and add what makes you smile to our Smile Wall. Can't make it? Join Smile Train's global online Smile Wall. Post a photo of something that makes you smile, tag @SmileTrain, and use #SmileWall2026. Learn more at smiletrain.org/wsd.
If you're struggling, you don't have to carry it alone.
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988
The Trevor Project (LGBTQ+ youth): 1-866-488-7386 or text START to 678-678
Trans Lifeline: 877-565-8860
RAINN Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
SAMHSA Helpline (substance use): 1-800-662-43571
The Community Center's Well-Being Services are here for you too! Click here to learn more!
