CenterFamily
Hang around the Center long enough and you are bound to run into Anibal Garcia and his family. The Tivoli resident lives with his partner of 18 years, José, and their two boys, and is active in CenterFamily, the Voices of Diversity Brunch and other center activities.
Discussing family, Garcia emphasizes that family is whatever you make it, and points to his own family. Elijah, 13, is his biological son, while Isaiah, 7, is José’s biological nephew that the two men have raised since birth. Both kids call Anibal “Daddy” and José is alternately known as “Jose” or “Tio José.” But the names are not nearly as important as the emphasis on family unity.
Anibal laughingly tells the story of how Isaiah responded one day when his dads were arguing and sleeping in separate rooms. “He told me ‘You can’t be my dad if you’re going to sleep in the guest room,’” Garcia recalls. “‘You got to go sleep with José.’” It is difficult to find fault with such logic!
Following Elijah’s birth, Garcia actively engaged in groups and activities for LGBTQ families. He explained that “Once you have kids, you’re friends tend to change, and you need to find new friends.” When the family lived in Yonkers, they went to the NYC Center Kids programs. After moving to Hopewell Junction, they traveled to White Plains for LoftKids. So it was only natural for the family to seek out a similar program when they moved to Tivoli, but there were no active programs in the area.
So, not long after the Center opened its doors last year, Garcia approached Vanessa Shelmandine, then of the Programs Committee, to discuss starting the CenterFamily group. CenterFamily has been meeting on a monthly basis, on both sides of the Hudson, for almost a year now. Garcia also organized a CenterFamily contingent in the 2007 Pride March and Festival last year and helped to bring a state-wide program on Same-Sex Parenting to Kingston recently.
He says it’s important for both the parents and the children to get together sometime, so kids “won’t think that I’m the only one,” and so parents can support each other and learn one anothers’ experiences. He also envisions CenterFamily as a clearinghouse for information on adoption, information and support for LGBTQ families.
Garcia also shares some advice for new parents, suggesting “not to look at it as a different type of family.” He emphasizes the point, adding, “It’s not because they’re gay parents that there’s a different script for raising the kids.”
- J. B. McNeil