CenterPiece
a c i r c l e o f p r i d e
Last June I stood on Chestnut Street in New Paltz cheering on the marchers during the first Pride. I had been to Pride in New York City, but there was something magical about the celebration of our lives happening in a small town. I cheered even louder when the group from Circles turned the corner. I was inspired and captivated by these youth, proudly marching down toward the park.
When I was in my teens I was in love with the captain of the girls’ swim team and forever seeking the attention of Ms. Crowe, the English teacher who introduced me to Edith Wharton and Willa Cather. But I went out with boys because, well, that’s what girls did. I didn’t know anything else. There were no gay youth groups, no teachers wearing alliance pins and no Ellen on TV. Other than John Ritter’s pretend queer character on Three’s Company, I’d never encountered anyone who was gay. It never occurred to me that I could be a lesbian. It wasn’t part of my consciousness.
Today, when I come across LGBTQ youth, out and proud in the Hudson Valley, I’m fascinated. My inclination is to run up to them and ask what it’s like to know who you are at that age, teen angst and rite of passage identity crises notwithstanding. Does it make it easier to come out? And, of course, the question at the root of it all, what would it have been like for me if I had access to a community center, or Circles or a supportive teacher during my youth? Would I have come out earlier?
Since I never really figured out how to approach them without feeling like a weirdo, I welcomed the opportunity to pick the brains of a few teens for this article. Finally, I had a legitimate forum for my own curiosity, and more importantly, I had the opportunity to encourage young members of our community to speak and be heard.
On a sunny afternoon in April, I dropped in at a Circles meeting, a safety and support program for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender youth run by Planned Parenthood of the Mid-Hudson Valley. I had the pleasure of meeting and chatting with three vibrant, interested and interesting youth: Nick, who is a founding member of Kingston High School’s Gay-Straight Alliance, is passionate about everything political; Caylena, who is a senior at Highland High School plans to pursue studies in journalism, French and women’s studies, and Sarah, who is in the process of deciding which of the several colleges where she was accepted offers the best genetics program.
On Coming Out Nick says coming out was an act of “sheer bravery” because of the homophobia at school. And it’s even more difficult for those who “don’t fit the media stereotype of the fabulous and friendly fag.” Sarah says being out gets easier by the time you reach your senior year. But even then, if she finds herself “in the wrong place at the wrong time,” such as alone with the so-called “popular” students, she sometimes gets nervous. All three emphasized the importance of what Circles has done for them. “It not only provided a support system,” says Caylena, “but it introduced me to different people, and gave me an education through exposure to culture and various conferences.”
On New Paltz Pride Caylena marched with Highland High School’s Gay Straight Alliance, a history making event she describes as “awesome.” Sarah, who wrote her college admission essay on her participation at Pride, felt “fulfilled” by the “solidarity” she experienced while walking down Main Street. And Nick, who says marching with Circles marked the first time he was “really out there in public,” initially laughed at the thought of making history, but in retrospect, sees how our presence and visibility has a tremendous impact. “Looking back, I realize that Pride in New Paltz made our efforts for social equality more realistic, a tangible thing. It was an awesome experience. It was inspiring. After the pride march and seeing the sheer number of people not getting the same rights as the rest of the U.S., it kind of added an element of intensity to the movement for me.”
On the Community Center Nick looks forward to the community center drawing together local gay resources and as a “centralized area where gay youths and gay adults could have an uncensored dialogue about more than just one issue,” perhaps bridging the disconnect that he feels exists between them. “The big issue is gay marriage, but I’m still dealing with homophobia. From what I hear, it may be not as bad as it was, but it’s still there. Older gay people tell me it will get better when I’m older, but that should not be the answer to the problem.”
Sarah and Caylena emphasized the benefits of bringing people together in a safe and welcoming place. They would like activities to range throughout the Hudson Valley, so that teens who do not have cars have more opportunity for access. “Things here are scattered,” says Sarah. “The Center offers a unifying factor, but it’s important that all events do not start and stay in Kingston.”
After talking with Caylena, Sarah and Nick, I was even more impressed by their ability to self-identify during what for many can be a difficult time in their lives. I’ll never know what I could have done had I had any kind of support system. But I can see in these youth what a difference a couple of decades makes. Just imagine what a Center can do. Δ
c i r c l e s , a program of Planned Parenthood of the Mid-Hudson Valley, has served
LGBT youth and their allies for more than 6 years. For information about Circles in
your area, contact the Planned Parenthood Education Office at 845.562.3098 or visit
plannedparenthood.org.
- Tree McElhinney